Jai Yen Yen

Perhaps at this time, in our hearts, we do have an inkling that we are only just beginning. But we don’t want to admit it. We can’t. To admit that would be to admit that you don’t know what you are doing, which would be to admit that you have a long way to go which would make the journey appear so daunting as to stymie even starting out. Better to believe you know what you’re doing and keep doing it until you do – Mark Jerkins

First of all, I apologize for not updating all of you since I’ve been back from Urumqi. The funeral was …well a funeral. But honestly, it was so worth going for those two weeks. After spending the time that I need with family, I came back refreshed and reenergized for life back at site and of course, “Reconnect”. Reconnect is the second part of our training (also known as Pre-serving Training II) where we spent 2 weeks in Suphanburi with all of the volunteers - including all the usual events of Peace Corps Thailand 122 (sessions, flip charts, parties).
Now I am working on the World Map Project at the day-care center and in the works of helping my community members build a Playground; which is already taking me out of my “jai yen “(relax) zone.

1. It frustrates me when people think I am pulling these projects out of my butt and that it does not at ALL relate to the community

2. Then after 6 months of being here, a staff asks me today “do you have to do your world map project? The playground? Is it assigned by Peace Corps that you have to do these? Or can you do things that maybe the community has more interest in?” Well, A. none of these projects would have been touched on if people did not think they were good idea? B. when you say ‘ not interested’ do you mean “ a project that does not include doing ANY work?” maybe I can just get the funds , give you the money and all the materials … do it all on my own THEN the community will have an interest! HONESTLY, I am the last person to have no cultural sensitivity BUT after talking to the agriculture officer he goes “I think it is more or so because they (the village leaders) are just lazy to do/plan it with the community, it’s easier to just buy it but the community CAN do it; they just know it takes a lot of work.” SERIOUSLY!

Maybe I should just shut the heck up, stop trying and just teach everyday! At least I can speak English and I will be useful in some way. Who cares about the farang (foreigner) that thinks building a playground with recycled materials, cooperation of the community is a better idea than “here is the money, go buy the playground”

Just a Thought