A Lavish Affair

Last Saturday my Nayoke's (Supervisor) mother passed away. The first question I asked was " Did the Nayoke cry? was he sad? " and the person replied " No, she was old". On Monday , everyone from my office dressed in all black and went to the third day of the funeral - in Thai society a funeral usually goes on for Five days and on the 5th day the person is cremated. I have been to couple other funerals throughout my stay here in Thailand and every time, I cannot help but be in 'awe' of what is going on around me.

First, we get there around 8 pm and the place is so lavishly decorated. It seems like it's more about how beautiful, extravagant everything looks in a case to show off the wealth and status of the person organizing the funeral - not the person who passed away. People come in and out, show their respect for the person who passed and sit in chairs until the actually ceremony starts which consists of monks chanting/praying for a period of 40 minutes or so. Second, there is also a row of nicely decorated chairs for the Supervisor's guest of honor no not close relatives but people who make the Nayoke's status look even more ' cool '. Third, the whole event goes on without a single drop of tear and once everything is finished people go their own way by that I mean, some women are preparing/ cooking for tomorrow's funeral event, and the men are drinking, playing cards/gambling.

Here is my opinion, in a society that talks about the importance of family relations and respect for the elderly I am sitting at a funeral of my Supervisor's Mom who apparently lived alone most of her last couple years without any visits from her son - my supervisor. And the funeral is more of a lavish , show off your wealth, your status event than an actual ' pay respect for her life ' ceremony while the Nayoke sits with the 'cool' people , drinks, and gambles once the funeral is over. I feel like everyone who actually worked on making the funeral 'beautiful' will be happy once today is over (the day of her cremation) because of how tired they were; thus, completely seeing passed the fact that a life, once cherished and loved has passed.

I know there might be some generalization in my writing /observation. Also, it is the culture, the religion of Buddhism, the belief in reincarnation BUT still, once a life leaves us no matter how old, how unimportant, how sick that person was, someone should feel sad, someone should be hurt. A funeral should be more than, the black attire, the lavish decorations , the guests who show up... It's about honoring a person's life, accepting the reality of 'death' but also feeling the hurt of losing a person, and sharing every moment of this with your family.

Trust me, I would know....